Yes, that’s bird poop on my head.
Good luck, right? That’s what I told my three-year-old as we laughed about it. I washed my hair off at daycare and showed up to work feeling … strange.
I had used every bit of unpaid leave and vacation to extend my maternity leave, but the time had come. I was "ready." Ready to leave the house, dress up again, talk to adults, and use my brain in a way that felt familiar. But let me be honest—it was hard.
My daughter cried when I dropped her off. At work, I pumped twice a day in a windowless basement supply closet with no lock. And at night, I fed my baby every three hours. I was exhausted, frazzled, and drowning in guilt. It felt like being a good employee came at the expense of being a good mom. And don’t even ask about being a good wife, friend, or just… myself.
If you’re feeling the weight of all this right now, trust me—you’re not alone.
Going back to work is hard—physically, emotionally, and logistically. It pulls you in every direction. And I imagine that not going back to work is tough too, in a different way. Both lonely, but we’re all navigating this journey of parenthood together. Let’s use that to our advantage.
Here are some practical tips I wish I had known on my first day back, plus the lifeline I found along the way.
1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel Conflicted
It’s completely normal to have mixed emotions. While you might feel "ready" to return to work, it's tough to leave your baby behind. It’s okay to feel torn. Acknowledge those feelings, but also give yourself grace. You are doing your best.
→ Don’t rush your emotions. Acknowledge them, process them, and remember that balancing work and parenthood is a journey.
→ Finding it hard to decipher the emotions, let alone communicate? These articles might help you out: 3 simple ways to avoid feeling disconnected from your husband after baby covers different ways people handle emotions and how to cope; Conflict Resolution in Marriage: Nurturing Connection Through Curiosity reviews basic communicate techniques - always good to have an refresher.
2. Create Boundaries
When I returned to work, I found myself juggling the emotional weight of leaving my baby and the logistical stress of pumping at work. A solid system can make this transition smoother.
→ Speak with your employer about your needs—whether it’s for different working hours, more work from home, or a private space to pump.
→ Establish clear work hours and personal time. Take your lunch break. Step outside for 5 minutes of fresh air in between calls. Read a book while you pump for some “you time.”
3. Be Kind to Yourself
Guilt can be a heavy burden. Whether it’s about not spending enough time with your baby or struggling to "do it all," it’s important to remember that you’re doing your best.
→ Reframe your thoughts. You’re not "less" of a mom or employee—you're balancing different roles that require support and understanding. You will find a routine and a balance.
→ Talk to yourself as you would talk to a friend. You are still incredibly hormonal after birth (up to 6 months) and as long as you are breastfeeding. Know that it will get easier.
4. Self-Care Is Critical
Parenthood is exhausting. You MUST prioritize self-care—no matter how small the gesture. It doesn’t have to be a grand act. Even five minutes to recharge can make a difference.
→ Start small — whether it’s grabbing your favorite pastry or going for a quick walk outside. Make time for yourself.
→ Explore our Postpartum & Movement courses. They consist of 3-5 minute videos from postpartum and movement specialists, designed to give you the tools and information you need to get back to feeling like yourself.
5. Share Openly
One of my lifelines was a WhatsApp group of moms in my community. Someone always responded in a kind, non-judgement and helpful way. You don’t have to go through this alone.
→ Join a support group where you can share experiences freely. Find comfort in knowing others are navigating the same challenges. Don’t know of one?
We created The Circle to give women a space for shared experiences, support, and real conversations. Whether you’re returning to work or adjusting to any phase of motherhood, no one should have to navigate this journey alone.
We’re all in this together,
Erica
