July 1, 2025

Zero Fucks, Selectively Given

If you know me, you might that I don’t need this desk sign.

But I do.

Because even with a strong sense of self, I still sometimes need the reminder: not everything deserves my energy. Not every voice gets a vote.

Last week, I walked barefoot down busiest road in my town, in my speedo.

The plan had been a casual first lake swim of the season— but it was gray skies, cold wind, and ocean-sized waves. Still, a friend and I had committed, so we did it. We dove in. Braved the waves. Got out to rest along the beach a few times. And then made the smart call to get out early and walk back.

Dripping, freezing, definitely getting looks—I started to feel a little ridiculous. Then I thought of that sign. And I remembered:

Zero fucks given.

But it doesn’t mean I don’t care.
It means I care very selectively.

I care deeply about my people, my values, and the things I say yes to. But I no longer carry the weight of every opinion. Only the ones that come from the people I trust.

And that trust? I’ve built it intentionally—over years.

Across my life—professionally and personally—I’ve created a circle of people I listen to. People whose voices I want in my head when I’m making decisions.

They’re not all the same.
Some are working moms juggling 14 spinning plates with grace. Some are thoughtful and philosophical, perfect for life’s “what does it mean?” moments. Some are exercise queens, correcting me on my hip thrusts. Some are no-bullshit, straight-to-the-point truth-tellers.

And here’s the key: I don’t ask all of them the same questions.

I wouldn’t go to the executive powerhouse mom who and ask her how to pipe icing on a Pokemon birthday cake. That’s not her lane—and that’s okay.

Part of knowing yourself is knowing what you need, and then turning to the right person in your circle to meet it. That’s how you build community: with discernment and care.

And still—sometimes, the best voice is your own.

Like when I was 19 and got my nose pierced. I walked into chemistry class and a girl I didn’t like said, “I love it.” And that was all it took for me to decide I didn’t.

Because if she loved it, it probably wasn’t me.

That instinct—that sense of alignment—has been with me for a long time. But lately, it’s reemerging. Sharpening. Especially since becoming a mom.

Advocating for my kids gave me permission to advocate for myself, too. To say no. To protect my time and energy. To walk away early—barefoot, half-dressed, and completely at peace.

So I’m asking: why do we wait?

Why do so many of us need a milestone—a baby, a burnout, a birthday—to finally feel like we can say:
​“This isn’t for me.”
“I’m not going.”
“This voice doesn’t get a vote.”

If you’re already there—how did you get there?
And if you’re still working on it (like me), consider this your permission slip: You don’t have to wait to trust yourself. You get to begin now.

And lastly, save this date

Our summer wellness webinar series, Mini Moments for Mighty Parents, continues July 16th at 13 CET (7am ET)! These are short (30 minutes), no-fluff sessions designed to help you reset, recharge, and reconnect during the day. The third Wednesday of the month, May to September.

Next up: Registered Dietician Alex in Fueling Fertility to Family: Essential Nutrition for Every Parenting Chapter. You won’t want to miss it. Real tools and real talk. Even if you can’t make it, sign up so I can send you the recap after.

Sign Up Here

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